Beautiful iNSANITY

2010-08-28T17:23:00.001+08:00

Don't you see
You've asked me
To wade through hell
For something I never wanted?

Don't you see
That I'll be
Drowning in my own guilt
After I learnt how to tread water?

Don't you see
That both me and he
Mightn't want to go back?

Don't you see
That what you've asked of me
Is impossible now?

Don't you see
That I want to leave?

Don't you see
That I'm not me?

Don't you see?

Art~

2010-07-11T20:18:00.000+08:00

"The poet Billy Collins once laughingly observed that all babies are born with a knowledge of poetry, because the lub-dub of the mother's heart is in iambic meter. Then, Collins said, life slowly starts to choke the poetry out of us. It may be true with music, too."

Cool.

What's wrong with me;

2010-07-10T23:26:00.001+08:00

I see you and I run. Isn't the opposite supposed to happen?

2010-06-14T12:26:00.001+08:00

www.jacknotzak.wordpress.com

blogger gets a little annoying.

might move back, though.

Jackfruit chips;

2010-06-14T11:31:00.001+08:00

Masteringphysics is killing me.

but i'd prefer it anyday to the excuse of a life mine is becoming.

2010-06-13T14:28:00.001+08:00

Great, my laptop has completely died. Won't even turn on. xD

2010-06-12T22:10:00.001+08:00

I knew I was fail with thumbdrives, but I never considered I was fail enough to lose one within less than 24 hours.

... And FMA ended. -is sad-

2010-06-12T21:11:00.002+08:00

Just came back from paintball.

Honestly. I stood in the middle of the field and did jumping jacks and yet, my clothes don't have any paint on them.

-.-

But hey, it was fun.

(309 outing? =])

2010-06-12T07:07:00.001+08:00

I dreamt I was in a battle royale. I gathered all my friends, then gave them a quick death.

Maybe I am going psychotic after all.

I don't know

2010-06-11T23:43:00.002+08:00

I don't know anything anymore.
I don't know who I like.
I don't know what I want.
I don't know where I'll go.
I don't know why I work.
I don't know when I'll know.
I don't know how I work.

I don't know why I lie on my bed at night and cry,
I don't know why I cry on my bed at night and lie.

I don't know why I don't know.
I don't know why I don't want to.

I don't know why I don't care.
I don't know why I don't want to.

I don't know why I don't blame anyone.
I don't know why I don't want to.

I don't know why I write this,
I don't know why I'm sane,
I don't know if I'm sane.

I don't know why I live,
I don't know why I don't die.

I don't know anything anymore.

2010-06-11T19:38:00.002+08:00

"There are two ways to get the horse moving, the first is to dangle the carrot in front of it. the second is to let the jaguar loose on it."

I think, y'know, if i was the horse, i'd just let the jaguar eat me.

honestly. nothing motivates me these days. i just bear with the resulting shit.

this sucks, it does.

Blame dA. (I envy you people who can just frame their emotions into words so much better than I can...)

2010-06-09T18:41:00.006+08:00

I've been an ass.

Everyone who has

cared for me,

What have I done in return?

What have I done in return?

Thanked them by making their lives

miserable.

Annoying them,

Ignoring them,

Manipulating them,

Making them Eat

themselves from the inside out

Even the ones I liked, Loved, or Befriended.

All I ever bring is misery, isn't it?

Misery laced with happiness,

but still

Misery.

And then I proceed,

proceed to convince myself

I bring more smiles than tears

More joy than pain

More happiness

then Hate

But do I?

Every time I take a look,

I see frustration,

I see anger,

I see jealousy,

I see lust,

I see One split between two worlds

I see ugly emotions,

ones which i have caused.

This sounds hypocritical.

They tell me it's allright,

That it's okay because we're friends,

But all the same,

I'm doing it.

But...

What matters is now.

Dare I change?

I wonder if she still has my heart.

I wonder if she deserves something like that.

It's like giving ash to an Angel, isn't it?

2010-06-09T10:07:00.002+08:00

I just want to forget about everything and move along, but it's proving harder then it used to be.

Am i being selfish? Maybe, but I'm not ready to give up my sanity for something I don't want.

I hate it when I argue, I really do.

And you think this is easy for me, too? You think I *enjoy* it?

I don't. And you still have your free will.

I decided what to do with mine, now it's your turn.

2010-06-06T18:36:00.001+08:00

LOL.

http://letsgoeverywhere.files.wordpress.com/2006/11/silkysmooth.jpg

George bush. Crosdressing.

(that's the Vietnamese traditional costume FYI.)

(is it just me, or does Greed from FMA wear a sleeveless version?)

Shopping =]

2010-06-06T17:46:00.001+08:00

I want to strangle the smartass who decided all the nice designs for t-shirts should go on v-necks.

Also, shopping when virtually all the clothes is meant for girls and subconciously thinking of you is totally diabeties-inducing-sickeningly-sweet-eye-candy. =D

2010-06-05T22:19:00.001+08:00

You know, it's not like I have the will to live, I lost that already.

I just haven't found the will to die.

2010-06-05T21:47:00.001+08:00

... Has anyone considered how the rope feels in a tug-of-war?

Rainnnnn

2010-06-05T20:13:00.001+08:00

Vietnam is pretty cool.

XD random, I know, but all the same, it is.

I like the scenery. When I say scenery I mean the "city" scenery.

And the fashion sense (again, lol.) is pretty awesome too.

What else... The food's pretty nice.

The market too...

Same goes for the weather.

Maybe I'll spend a while here, too, when I grow up.

On to emo things.

I think, I think, my hormones are seriously fucked.

That's about all.

The reason why I don't tell you anything isn't because I don't like you, rather, it's the complete opposite.

I'm not really who you think I am on the inside, too.

An eye for an eye

2010-06-05T08:18:00.001+08:00

Makes the whole world blind
So I'll just gouge out mine
I hope it'll make thngs fine
And it's not this twisted sense of justice of mine

2010-06-03T07:54:00.001+08:00

...god, my hormones are... funky.

2010-06-02T09:16:00.001+08:00

...Right. My mom just said "so if someone wants more fingers they pay more"

She was referring to some massage system they had at this hotel (I'm in Cambodia. The legal age of drinking is zero.=D) but damn that sounds wrong.

2010-06-01T22:44:00.001+08:00

i haven't felt so threatened, insecure, and afraid for as long as i can remember.

Go ahead and be "egoistical", because it's not egoistical, it's right.

2010-06-01T05:06:00.002+08:00

I really want to write so many things in here, the many things that are gnawing at me from the inside out, but saying some of them would defeat the whole purpose.

As *someone* said to me, I have to just get up and go after I fall. I have to change, because the person I am now is going to get nowhere.

I can do this.

2010-05-30T10:41:00.002+08:00

I have.. (point for each one)

[ ] smoked.
[x] consumed alcohol. (beer, wine, sake, and a few other i can't quite remember)
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
[x] kissed someone of the same sex.
[ ] had sex.
[x] had someone in your room other than family. (really, who hasn't?)
[ ] watched porn.
[ ] bought porn.
[x] tried drugs. (in a way. it wasn't illegal)

MY TOTAL: 6

[x] taken painkillers. (meh, my dad in-sis-ted i take it.)
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine.
[x] lied to your parents.
[x] lied to a friend.
[x] snuck out of the house.
[x] done something illegal.
[x] felt hurt.
[x] hurt someone.
[x] wished someone to die.
[ ] seen someone die.

MY TOTAL: 15

[x] missed curfew.
[x] stayed out all night. (sadly. >.<)
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
[ ] been to a therapist. (i need to.)
[ ] received a ticket.
[ ] been to rehab
[ ] dyed your hair. (i want to)
[ ] been in an accident.
[ ] been to a club.
[x] been to a bar

MY TOTAL: 19

[ ] been to a wild party.
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade.
[ ] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
[ ] had a spring break in Florida.
[x] sniffed anything
[ ] wore black nail polish (i wouldn't mind, come to think of it. but only for an hour or two because i might chew it off.)
[x] wore arm bands.
[ ] wore t-shirts with band names.
[x] listened to rap.
[ ] owned a 50 Cent CD. (how does this make sense???)

MY TOTAL: 22

[x] dressed Gothic. (... KX and Claire, shut up.)
[ ] dressed girly. (see above)
[ ] dressed punk. (see above)
[ ] dressed grunge. (do i have to type this again?)
[x] stole something.
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything.
[x] blacked out. (on purpose!)
[ ] fainted.
[ ] had a crush on a neighbour.

MY TOTAL: 25

[x] had a crush on a friend.
[x] been to a concert.
[x] dry-humped someone.
[ ] been called a slut.
[x] called someone a slut.
[ ] installed speakers in your car.
[ ] broken a mirror.
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[x] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.

MY TOTAL: 31

[ ] consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
[ ] seen an R-rated movie in theater.
[ ] cruised the mall.
[x] skipped school.
[ ] had surgery. (suprisingly)
[x] had an injury. (DUH.)
[ ] gone to court.
[x] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
[x] caught something on fire.
[x] lied about your age.

MY TOTAL: 36

[ ] owned/rented an apartment/house.
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence.
[ ] made out with someone who had a gf/bf
[x] got in trouble with the police.
[x] talked to a stranger.
[x] hugged a stranger.
[ ] kissed a stranger.
[x] rode in the car with a stranger.
[x] been harassed.
[x] been verbally harassed.

MY TOTAL: 42, the answe- oh nevermind

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online.
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight.
[ ] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight.
[x] been to a fair.
[x] been called a bad influence.
[ ] drink and drive.
[x] prank-called someone.
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
[x] cheated on a test.

MY TOTAL: 50

If You Have Less Than 10.. write [im a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10.. write [im still a goody goody]
If You Have More Than 20.. write [im average]
If You Have More Than 30.. write [im a bad kid]
If You Have More Than 40.. write [im a very bad influence]
If You Have More Than 50.. write [im a horrible person]
If You Have More Than 60.. write [i should be in jail]
If You Have more than 70..Write [i should be dead]

2010-05-29T12:55:00.000+08:00

Go ahead
As you waste your days with thinking
When you fall, everyone stands
Another day
And you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your

Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
(Speak to me)

When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day
When you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart
That will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your

Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me

When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through
Move along

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong
We move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong
We move along
Along, along
Along, along
Along, along

When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through (x2)

When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
(Know you do)
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through
Move along

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along (x4)

llama.

2010-05-27T21:52:00.002+08:00

Well, if I'm going to drive myself insane for a week at least it's gonna be when I'm away from friends. Don't want to make them worry, eh?

So, here goes.

Don't worry, I'm fine. Just have to sort out a few things I had to a long time ago.

2010-05-26T23:17:00.001+08:00

-sigh-

we tend to keep things at the back of our head, until they are mentioned to us once again.

Prince of Persia.

the best damn movie i've seen in a while.

2010-05-25T18:25:00.005+08:00

-somewhat saddened but still happy-

...and thus ends another chapter of my life, i wish it could've been happier but it was really happy as it is.

Thank you, for at least putting up with all my rubbish that.

As someone else (you know who.) said to me, "You don't ever have to feel sorry for me."

Be happy.

(for the recored, we're still friends! =D)

2010-05-24T21:14:00.002+08:00

Well, interesting.

One less person who would die for me. Don't know whether to be happy or not.

In the recent month, the number of views my blog has gained is more than for the rest of the existence of my blog.

It seems being in Year 3 has a weird sort of side effect on stuff you know about your friends.

B13-U

2010-05-23T18:26:00.005+08:00

B13-U is an awesome movie. Inspiring-awesome-somehow-envy-inducing much.

sometimes, we forget who are friends are.

Anyway, soooo may ~~class/clique/interclass/exclassmates~~ outings with friends now.

and mpp.

sometimes, we forget who our enemies are.

MPP's not that bad really, but i just wish they'd give us a longer break, i mean, the exams are over.

sometimes, we don't know either.

oh well. life is settling down.

sometimes, my alter egos like people my other alter egos hate,

i just hope nothing disturbs my miserable existence soon.

which is just confusing.

Oh dear. (It seems Wikipedia is not as hopeless as it seems)

2010-05-19T18:49:00.001+08:00

well...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

Jack, Isaac, Zak, Alex, and the mouse (Nezumi-chan).

Terminal (or late) insomnia - early morning waking. Often a characteristic of clinical depression.

I wake up at 4.45 everyday.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_suppression

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_trauma

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regret_(emotion)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame

(Yes you know who you people are.)

(To those who don't, don't ask me, please.)

Depression may be related to abnormalities in the circadian rhythm, or biological clock. For example, rapid eye movement (REM) sleep—the stage in which dreaming occurs—may be quick to arrive and intense in depressed people.

I keep dreaming of people. Specific few, actually, but let's not go there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclothymia

Cyclothymia (pronounced /ˌsaɪklɵˈθaɪmiə/ or /ˌsɪklɵˈθaɪmiə/) is mood disorder that causes mild hypomanic and depressive episodes.

Isaac and Alex.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression

a mental disorder characterized by an all-encompassing low mood accompanied by low self-esteem, and by loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities.

an inability to experience pleasure in activities that formerly were enjoyed. Depressed people may be preoccupied with, or ruminate over, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt or regret, helplessness, hopelessness, and self-hatred.[3] In severe cases, depressed people may have symptoms of psychosis.

Depressed children may often display an irritable rather than a depressed mood,[3] and show varying symptoms depending on age and situation.

Most exhibit a loss of interest in school and a decline in academic performance.

Depression is a major cause of morbidity worldwide.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morbidity#Morbidity

I fall sick like crap lately.

As an interesting side note,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking#Psychological_effects_on_stalking_victims

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking#Types_of_stalkers

Incompetent suitors, despite poor social or courting skills, have a fixation, or in some cases a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship with those who have attracted their amorous interest. Their victims are most often already in a dating relationship with someone else.

You can guess who I'm referring to so I won't bother hiding names. Xinyi.

(NO I AM NOT DATING SOMEONE DONT BOTHER ASKING)

(My depression doesn't come from here. If anything, maybe, just maaaayyyybbbeeeee 5%?)

this is hopelessly reminiscent of Fahrenheit 451.

2010-05-15T22:42:00.003+08:00

Something's wrong in my life, i'm missing something.

I'm missing something, like how Montag knew he was missing something in Fahrenheit 451.

I don't know what it is, but there's this emptiness feeling, that that that...

something's off.

i'm not happy.

it's not...

i'm not...

...

i don't know anything anymore.

I'm taking the high road~

2010-05-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, mp3 player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

5. Tag 15 friends

6. Everyone tagged have to do same thing

7. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

Foreign language - Anberlin

Hell no, i hate foreign languages.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Our Farewell - Within temptation

... You've gotta be f**king me.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Damn girl - AAR

Nope, not really

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Hey oh tonight - Norweigan recycling

Awesome band, nonsensical answer.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

To end what i begin - The script

Yeah, suuure, i try to. TRY to.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Tears don't fall - BFMV

I wish.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Fall for anything - The Script

No, not really

WHAT IS 2+2?

King of glory - Chris Tomlin

Another random answer...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

The little things that give you away - LP

Makes a LITTLE sense...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Let it roll - Secondhand serenade

No sense, moving on...

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Razor's edge - ACDC

Hm...

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Easier to go - Lifehouse

Not making any sense, itunes library...

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE

Heaven Forbid

o.o that sucks.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Your Love is a lie - SP

Nah, -hugs parents-

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Bridges - Lifehouse

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Don't leave me - AAR

D'awwww i'm touched, but really. let me go in peace.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Keeper - Yellowcard

o.o i keep assorted junk in my room, but it't not a hobby.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Twisted logic - Coldplay

...

My current friends, yeah.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Move along - AAR

Not making any sense...

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Look after you - The Fray

Still not getting any... (idea what it could mean)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

A day late - Anberlin

Awesome band, and sad answer.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Never again - Nickelback

No sense.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Love for a child - Jason Mraz

Well we're all children at heart, so yeah.

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

More than anything - Hillsong

Wow, question is, will i be happy?

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Ice queen - Within temptation

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Move along - AAR

Apt, somewhat. What i'd love to say to those who went crazy over me.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

Dear Bobbie - Yellowcard

o.o

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Butterfly - Jason Mraz

o.o

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

High road - M. Shinoda

2010-05-08T13:34:00.003+08:00

I was right about you, Jun Yup.

You are infinitely more manipulative and scheming than me.

Damn.

"like playing chess with a person who has three turns to your one"

You're good.

since everyone leaves this on their blog sooner or later...

2010-05-05T21:13:00.003+08:00

What's troubling me?

A ton of feathers is still a ton

that's crushing

down 13 floors

One feather

Two

threefourfive

~~onceicaughtafish alive~~

sixseveneightnineten

then i let it go again

Why did you let it go?

Didn't it want to die like so?

It was fun, relatively beautiful innocence

which was taken away

I understand with one shocking bit of clarity

,and what i mist do to avoid this.

Thing is, can i?

2010-04-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

http://xxxblackxrosexxx.deviantart.com/art/Suicide-28110514

no, i'm not going to.

not going to even attempt to harm myself in any way.

but... that note...

something...

2010-04-29T19:06:00.003+08:00

i'm incredibly pissed now, because i realized how screwed i am for my exams

there's this shiver going my spine now

but i dont know why even though i want to i can never bring myself to actually frickin' study.

apathetic enough not to study

not enough to be happy about it, though.

guilt.

friends.

stress.

sense of emptiness.

Now you know what's troubling me.

Now you know why i want to be a psychiatrist?

when in doubt, antidepressants.

or LSD.

that shiver up my spine when i realize i'm screwed

is not like the one i enjoy.

it sucks

and i hate myself

hate myself for being this pathetic

hate myself for being so apathetic

hate myself for knowing too little

hate myself because i'm this lazy

to get down and just study.

even though so much's at stake and i know it damn well

i just can't, i don't know why.

it pisses me off, it really does.

i'm really tempted to start playing with those blades but i know they'll get stolen in seconds, and besides, that makes me a hypocrite.

i know this isn't the right way to walk down, but can i be bothered to do a thing about it? nooooo.

something inside this one has died, it has long, long ago.

something which gave him spark and cheer

something which gave him life.

2010-04-28T18:01:00.002+08:00

You know why I just hate dramas?
Happy endings.

As saddistic as that may sound, it's true.

Life has no happy endings, you have to make your own ones.

Happiness is not guaranteed, and it's something you need to get yourself.

You might see the characters in those dramas having happy endings but it's only from their poinr of view.

Because every time there's a fight, someone has to lose.

Someone has to get hurt.

Someone has to win.

So every but of happiness you get, cherish it, remember it, but don't expect it.

Because life isn't a drama.

You've gotta make your own endings.

And if the shit hits the fan, you gotta bear with it.

now excuse me while i restring my frickin' guitar.

-sigh-

2010-04-27T22:29:00.001+08:00

I'm fine, i really am, but there's this sense of emptiness very few people can fill.

But slowly, it's being filled.

Now... exams...

2010-04-26T16:36:00.007+08:00

Fuck what did i just do. I hope it isn't too late.

Banliue 13.

2010-04-25T22:09:00.003+08:00

Hey, people.
still a little emo but meh.

Kinda happy too because i got new trek pants.
They look pretty nice, if a little flashy. would've gone for hard black if it was selling..
Navy blue and red stripe.
-shrug-

Starting to like jazz again after so long...

And looking for french rap.

there's a very distinctive tone to french rap, the... anger and "what the hell, dude" of it all

-shrug-
apathy. double edged sword.
probably gonna cut myself by not studying.

-shrug-

cya~

h, i, J, K, l, m, n, o, p

2010-04-21T18:33:00.002+08:00

double edged sword.
a trade.
my sanity and the friends who really matter
for these new friends and other things.

is it really worth it?

do i have a choice?

2010-04-15T18:39:00.001+08:00

There he goes, there he goes
Burning off his toes on the concrete
Heart of the forest of stone,
Its trees of cement and steel
Stretching high, scraping the sky
Of black and blue just like your skin
When the pavement hits you.
It cuts you, fucks you, breaks you in two,
But stopping is the one thing he don't know how to do.
To him, nothing matters, he'll just run on through.

This is what it's like to be a newb.

Look at her, look at her
So fast that she burns though the things
In her way, in her life, like the edge
Of a razor-sharp blade of a knife
Made of sweating, bleeding, breaking skin
Stretched thin, stuck within, in between the
Lines of insanity and a sport, or more a way of life.

This is what it's like to be the best.

Oh my god, oh my god.
The kid lying on the ground,
I think he's okay, but he doesn't make a sound.
Did he fall, did he jump, is he dead, what the fuck
Was he doing up there? Oh, wait, he's waking up.
"What the hell, where am I?"
"Jesus, kid, I thought you died!"
So he got up, ran home, sent his bony ass to bed,
And waited, for it'll start all over again.

This is what it's like to be tricked by yourself.

"You can do it, you can do it!"
The children scream and shout
As I climb up higher to see what it's about.
High up atop the roof of their elementary school
"I'll take a picture," one says, "It'll be so cool!"
"No, wait, it's too high!" but instead it's too late,
He already leapt, and I can feel the ache
Of his bones and his dream, both shattered now,
'Cause the he jumped, and fell, and crushed his life on the ground.

This is what it's like to die for a dream.

But worry not, worry not,
For life goes on. No matter what goes wrong,
Just keep jumping, climbing, and running away.
Hour after hour, day after day,
Strengthening the feeling that will never go away.

This is what it's like to be a boy like me,
Wild, careless, and running free

From Deviantart. Awesome.

I'M WRITING A NOVEL IN NOVEMBER

2010-04-13T21:54:00.001+08:00

"1) It's okay to not know what you're doing. Really. You've read a lot of novels, so you're completely up to the challenge of writing one. If you feel more comfortable outlining your story ahead of time, do so. But it's also fine to just wing it. Write every day, and a book-worthy story will appear, even if you're not sure what that story might be right now.

2) Do not edit as you go. Editing is for December. Think of November as an experiment in pure output. Even if it's hard at first, leave ugly prose and poorly written passages on the page to be cleaned up later. Your inner editor will be very grumpy about this, but your inner editor is a nitpicky jerk who foolishly believes that it is possible to write a brilliant first draft if you write it slowly enough. It isn't. Every book you've ever loved started out as a beautifully flawed first draft. In November, embrace imperfection and see where it takes you.

3) Tell everyone you know that you're writing a novel in November. This will pay big dividends in Week Two, when the only thing keeping you from quitting is the fear of looking pathetic in front of all the people who've had to hear about your novel for the past month. Seriously. Email them now about your awesome new book. The looming specter of personal humiliation is a very reliable muse.

3.5) There will be times you'll want to quit during November. This is okay. Everyone who wins NaNoWriMo wanted to quit at some point in November. Stick it out. See it through. Week Two can be hard. Week Three is much better. Week Four will make you want to yodel.

And we're talking the good kind of yodeling here."

taken from my email.

so:

I'M WRITING A NOVEL IN NOVEMBER.

T.T

2010-04-13T15:54:00.001+08:00

Well.

That was a weird song translation competition.

But all the more i feel envious.

Mainly because some people dance so well.

(but dress so bad....)

I'm bored.

I should (for once) do my homework.

Dance-obssesed noob over here.

2010-04-10T21:21:00.001+08:00

Hi people.
Tired, so fast post.

1. Anyone wants to form a dance crew?

2. I'm gonna draw up the skillsets for all the dancers soon just for fun. Like who's flexible, who's got style, who's got muscle, and so on.

3. Pari, I miss you.

4. I really do.

5. http://www.formspring.me/jacknotzak

6. I just ran 6.5 km and jumped into mud at the end. Then walked around raffles point all muddy. (note to self. Mud-splatters over black pants looks interesting. -zak stirs-)

7. MPP's interesting.

8. G'night.

I typed this as we were leaving the airport.

2010-04-10T07:01:00.000+08:00

Pari, I miss you already.

Miss everything we did with each other. Everything.

After you left, a group of cried. I cried. Still am.
I clenched my fist so hard it nearly bled. Kuo xuan cried so hard he
couldn't move. Me too. I hugged him and we both stood there crying for
a minute or so. Xinyi too. (she didn't hug, but she had to lean on the
railings.)
Chenge was just trying not to cry in front of you.
Junfu cried.

I miss you Pari.
I fucking miss you.

Sometimes delusions are so simple,
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
And the sun
Will set for you
The sun
Will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world with grey
And the sun will set for you

You better keep dancing, because I'm gonna surpass you if you don't.

We miss you, Pari.
We'll freakin miss you.
I love you Pari, we all do.

Goodbye.

2010-04-09T23:20:00.001+08:00

I'm not in the mood to do much but,

Pari.
I love you.
We love you.

We'll never forget you.

And I'm going to dance till I'm a better dancer than you.

You're the reason I'm in it, and once again, I feel that I'm have to do as well as you. When I entered, you left.

Take care there in India okay? Study hard, play hard, dance harder. Be happy. And drink more milk, you'll grow taller.

PARIIII.

2010-04-08T18:41:00.002+08:00

... well then, my plan backfired on me.

do that few people read my blog?

Anyway. I'm not suicidal. Nowhere NEAR.

That last post was just intended for another reason for a specific bunch of friends.

Mainly, to scare all my friends who have or are harming themselves.

To let them know how bad it can hurt when a friend's this stupid.

And not only it seems it didn't reach everyone, it also seems that one of them still harms himself.

I shoulda went on with my initial plan to say i slit my wrists.

NO I'M NOT SUICIDAL.

NOT EVEN SUBCONSCIOUSLY.

really.

Anyway, Pari's leaving tomorrow... -sighs-

There's still email i guess..

Another friend leaving my life.

Something else, coming and going.

I'm sorry i didn't know you earlier,

I'm sorry i wasn't your friend.

I'm happy i knew you,

I'm happy you were my friend.

You brought me into dance club,

And now you're leaving.

We might say stuff like "friends are forever",

But the sad truth of fate

just won't allow it.

I'll miss you so much Pari.

Miss dancing with you,

Miss squeezing our feet into each other's shoes,

Miss messing around crazily together like there was no tomorrow,

Miss your craziness, your high-ness, the way you always cheer everyone around up.

Miss the few times in dance club we taught each other what we knew.

You were the one who got me to join dance. When i join, you leave.

I'm gonna promise this:

I'm going to be your legacy.

Never gonna give up dancing, gonna dance till I'm better than you.

And you had better not forget us here in NUSH OKAY?!?!

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

And sometimes, although it isn't the only way, it's the happiest.

If.

2010-04-07T12:20:00.001+08:00

If I commited suicide, would you?
(I'm asking whoever reads this blog. Everyone.)

And take this question seriously, I'm not joking around here.

God, have I left you?

2010-04-05T21:54:00.001+08:00

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

-background-How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

-tears up-

Ignore the date, this post's on Easter.

2010-04-05T08:20:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

there.
i cried watching this, but my church members performed it.

when we finally realize it's too late, it never is.
when we are loved unconditionally by one, we ignore them.
when we walk away, do the most terrible things, and finally turn back, we're accepted with open arms. No, more than that.

Why do we do such stuff?

To those who love us, to those who have always been with us.

It isn't fair.

Do I deserve this?

At this freakin' rate, we can have an entire conversation through this shitzx.

2010-04-04T17:26:00.002+08:00

your call, man.
but i tell you first, if you do anything stupid i dont think i'll be able to live with the guilt.

So..... Starhub urbanfreestyle run.
GG.

6.5 km.

heh.

2.4's tmrw... :/

-sighs-

i cried today at my church service.
i seem to do that alot nowadays, come to think of it.
that skit they put up...

-sighs-

isaac's still in the coffin, zak's struggling to shove away jack and alex. and alex and jack are trying to make friends.

don't get it? you don't need to.

emo.

2010-04-03T22:45:00.005+08:00

How many times
do i have to make people wish they were dead?

How many times
do i have to cause all this pain and sense of dread?

how many times
do i have to cause all this?

howmanytimes
more
doineedtobearwiththis;

because it's only twice,

and it's already getting just darn saddening.

You idiot, i don't want you dead.
Neither do i not want to be your friend.
Just not that way.

i know i said the opposite once before, but maybe having no friends might be better?

Mango spammage

2010-03-28T12:59:00.002+08:00

I've got 10 minutes to put my thoughts into words on my iPod keyboard so here goes:

Tuition later. Chinese tuition I don't even need.

Anyway, past few days have been fun, I guess

Vivace was pretty nice.

Except that I messed up my first performance by being going to the toilet. Don't ask. Or read my FB.

Next is that my dad just got... 19 mangoes for 28 bucks. Like dam cheap can?!

And I just ate one-and-a-half. *guilty, sweet-in-more-than-one-way smile*

Mmmmm mangoes.

One of my favourite foods.

Hm. 5 minutes left.

Msn convos with Cyrus and I always end up screwy nowadays.

Oh and coincidentally I live within walking distance of edith's house (3 bus stops, I think)

Which makes life much easier because we perpetually group together for project work. Yay

....why do I smell mangoes now?

-sniffs fingers-

Oh, right. Mmmmm.

The joy of eating with your hands~

I feel kinda bad now for attempting to squish my way back into a clique, but hey, it's not like they don't want me there. or maybe they're just too nice to tell me otherwise. (if you're reading this please do tell me? I won't mind, honestly.)

Oh well. 10 minutes. Ciao.

I'm such a hypocrite and I just realized it.

2010-03-23T22:49:00.001+08:00

Just came back from edith's house. Physics project. Interestingly, we have the same members for... 4 projects? So we can do all of them, actually.

So sad. I threw away my trubuchet.

Ah well, life goes on.

I carry on holding on desperately to my lifelines, being dragged along some ship.
(thank you.)

Hehe. Signed up for 6.5km run. XD

Yes Jean, it's the FR one. XD

-sighs-

Sleepy, confused, and aphatatic (is that the right spelling?!) now.

Only have 2 urges.

Basketball, and that someone.

and YOU, the other "you" I may ever refer to on my blog. You promised you'd stop, damnit.

Ignorance is bliss.

now, what to do with my life

2010-03-20T21:34:00.002+08:00

i really can't decide what to focus solely on, dance, capoeira, or FR.

but anyway i'm doing stretches while i type this.
=D

to quote joedi: "You're getting into the dancers spirit"

xD but then again the flexibility applies to other stuff than dance but hey who cares.

So... i'm also listening to a talk between steve jobs and bill gates. =D

no fighting, yet, though.

so... the holiday's been fun, but homework, homework....
don't teachers know students never finish them till the last day?!

yeowch stretches.

yesterday... -shivers-

i'm not going karoke with claire again.

although...

nevermind.

i think i'll probably side with gymnastics, in terms of my obsessions for now (not that i do it but hey, i can try.)

and dark chocolate.
mmm.

capoeira's cool, anyway.

oh, and i'm looking for people willing to help!
(not that that many ppl visit this blog...)

but anyway!
whoever can play bass,
whoever wants to form a dance crew,
and whoever can "spar" with me because practicing capoeira with air gets lonely.

(NUSH ppl only, though. unless you dont mind coming to NUSH during my break time.)

=D

-sighs-

if you're reading this....
i just wish you can just tell me a proper answer instead of leaving me in that in-between.

but then again, talking to you is enough to make me happy.

I blame you for making me like vocaloids. :D

2010-03-10T19:05:00.002+08:00

Sooooo. I think i have this deep subconscious urge to blog whenever i feel bored, sian, or emo.

This post falls under "bored" and "sian".

so, for those who have known my... imaginary friends, alter egos, and split personalities all at the same time or something, i finally decided to actually write down each of them down. (although they're pretty quiet these days...)

Isaac's the kiddy, pranking, take-life-as-it-comes dude who just wants to have shitloads of fun and "ORLY? wtv~" through tough times. If something blows up in your face, or you see me jumping around, that's him. He cares about his friends, and if he ever harms his friends, it's because it's for the better in the long term.

Zak's the art and humanities side of me. Unfortunately he can't draw to save his life, but he likes photoshop, music, literature, dance, that kinda stuff. If i start talking in a somewhat poetic manner or in lyrics and stuff, that's him. He also cares a lot about his friends, and will do whatever it takes for them to be happy. When he's emo he just sits somewhere dark and cries. or stands in the rain.

Jack is like the most guy-ish side of me. He likes sports, and is horribly flirt (-.-) he can be an ass sometimes, but it's all tongue-in-cheek. If you see me freerunning, b-balling, or stuff like that, that's him. When he's emo he exhausts himself physically.

Alex is my inner hollow, so-to-speak. I don't want to elaborate. -shiver-

So there.

Anyway, it was raining this morning. i almost stepped out to smell it...

The smell of rain..

The cooling chill..

The slight needles of pain when one hits you..

The clear, sweet taste of it..

Rain is just awesome.

elearning sucks, i just CBF to do it.

(can't be f'd.)

oh well. gotta eat.

ciao~

A balance of our sanities, threatening to topple any moment

2010-03-09T07:37:00.001+08:00

Edith told me to start blogging again. And I shall make an attempt.

So, my body hurts like hell now. Took me nearly all I had to fish my iPod out of the mess beside my bed.

Apparently it seems like I forgot to stretch AFTER PE. Whoops.

Amazingly, before today I was completely fine, as in, no aching. And I had dance on Friday and Saturday, cycled 20km on Sunday, and then had dance and PE on Monday.

Haha, burning fats.

I sound aneroxic, :D

D; no one can watch breakout with me... (admittedly I'm the most sad because of one person who couldn't come, but I'm still annoyed that no one seems to be free.)

I guess I'll go with my family then.

Claire has toned down shipping me and cakes. Thankfully.

But she's still getting me a neko jacket. T.T

Well... Things are fine, I guess...

They've been better, but since everyone's happy, so am I. (I'm often like clarisse, for those who read farenheit 451, in the sense that I'm more like a mirror than a blazing torch. Non-lit people, nevermind.)

Arrgh. Muscle aches. -winces-

Dance is really fun, except I can barely remember the moves, and I improvise half of them and I'm therefore half a beat late usualy. But I'm getting there :D

The coach is awesome, too.

DANCE CAMP'S COMING :D

I hope it's gna be really fun....

I spend most of my time icon-ing or wallpaper-ing nowadays. Design's an interesting subject, but I suck at it.

Well I guess that's it for now.

Bye~

-zak

2010-03-04T08:04:00.001+08:00

Hey, edith's jacket is awesome.

I might consider reviving this, but I'm not sure.

-sighs- it's already march.

Well... New friends lead to newer friends. Both good and bad ones.

Time to just foget about what happened and focus on what's happening now.

-isaac

Time for you and time for me, And time yet for a hundred indecisions, And for a hundred visions and revisions,

2010-03-03T19:22:00.001+08:00

Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

2010-02-20T16:08:00.000+08:00

There. I've updated my wishlist.

Been wanting to do that for some time.

2010-01-27T18:43:00.002+08:00

I'm using this blog for this one post. Trying to scatter my crap
everywhere so only those I trust can read it all. Those who know me
well, go look for my other two blogs for everything. This is the
second part. I might be making this up, or it might be real. Up to you.

The headphones blasted in his ears.

The whole world was black, outside of the hood. Irrelevant to his world.

Alex took a peek sideways. She was walking past his class.

He lifted a hand to wave, but she didn't turn.

Sighing, he slammed his hand back down onto the table.

He turnd a corner, and saw her with her friends. He took a step, reconsidered, then stepped back. Moments later, she passed by. And he once again felt like slamming his head on the table.

Literature class. More analysis of charachters... Immensely boring.

He thought once again of her.

How he didn't understand a thing about her, rather.

They were worlds apart, opposites, and yet...

He didn't even understand himself anymore, he decided after some
thought.

Hell, what the hell.

KILLING THIS BLOG (: DANCE IS FUN (:

2010-01-22T20:17:00.001+08:00

Day 1

Ugh. Thanks Jean for getting me to rest before the damn flight, cuz
well, I haven't had any rest since then.
Well perhaps I did, if you count the times I tried to sleep while
blasting SJ's sorry sorry, paramore's new album, and muse's resistance
on the airplane, and on the coach.

Frankly, I think my butt's gonna be the most sore at the end of the
trip.

Today was pretty awesome for a first day. The moment I got off the
plane there was stuff to do.

Okay, let's slow down.

Today (and yesterday) was:
Leave home
Arrive at airport
Eat
Eat
Eat (did I mention that? Oh, whoops.)
Use com, msn and facebook.
Eat (yes, I'm born in the ear of the pig for a reason. Oink.)
Try get some rest
Board plane
Watch UP! haha it's really cute.. Woulda been better in cinema with
friends tho. -.-
Copy down 2 phrases in korean. Y'know, you never know when you need 'em.
Watch District 9. Kinda sad movie.
Watch teen titans. XD
Listen to kpop and other stuff while trying to sleep.
Arrive at airport, do all that fancy shitzx and wait for tour grp (my
dad found out his JC fren was in the same group. Small world.)
Leave for theme park. Fell into a half-sleeping state here.
Play at theme park/safari
Have lunch. Awesome kimchi. Well duh. Kinda like Seoul gardens.. Haha,
memories..
Go shopping. Nearly got lost 3 times.
Get ski stuff for tmrw
Check into hotel, get food and CHILLAXX-

Haha.. The theme park was interesting, it was joined with a safari so
there was a bus which drove along and we saw all the animals. Awesome.
Took vids.

I really think I'm getting more into kpop, haha.. Blame it on the lack
of chanels here, so just have to listen to KMTV or whatever that
channel was.

Well blame Jean as well...

Sometime between then and the theme park I remember seeing a whole
group of really chio girls at the theme park, I think. Just saying.
Although much less of the ppl i see look plastic than what I imagined..

So that's it for day 1. Stupid wakeup call tmrw..

Bye.

P.S. (if I see any DBSK, SuJu, or Cherry Filter CD's, I am sooo buying
them. :D)

P.P.S. SS501 isn't that bad. If that's their name, I can't remember.

P.P.P.S. One of the rides was awesome. You sit down, and everything
revoulves around you. No, not like that. Like you're in the Viking
ship in escape theme park. Just that it goes 720 degrees and you don't
have safety belts cos it's actually a dam well done illusion. The rest
of the room actually can move, too. It's not just the seats.

P.P.P.P.S. Tmrw there's skiing. Yay.

Day 2

Woke up at 7. Freeeak. Sleepy.

Today was skiing. I asked if I could try snowboard and sadly not...
Haiz. Next trip, my dad promised.

I did-so-want to try. :(

Anyway, after a lot off messing about and having my hair drenched in
sweat which then proceeded to cool and almost kill me, and nearly
scream and yank off my goggles to make sure my ears didn't hurt like
freak, and then nearly freezing my ears and throat cuz of the cold
air, I got to ski properly. Like up the damn lift. Beautiful scenery,
sadly my parents didn't let me bring the camera, cuz well I might fall
and... Yeah. Sad.

Basically skiied the whole day. My feet and arms and other muscles are
hurting like freeeakkkkk. Naa warm up. Lol

Nghhhhh. Some of the girls there were really dam cute. Like with the
helmet, 'kerchief around the mouth, those baggy ski pants, the
headphones, the snowboard, the.. AGHH JEAN YOU HAD TO TRY GET ME TO
LIKE SOME KOREAN CELEB. just haaaaad toooo.

Anyway, i found a wifi spot, then msned for a while. I miss you guys.

Tmrw we're going to a hotspring. Awesome. :D apparently we're going to
see other stuff too, and move to the next hotel. In the mountians.
Sweet, photo time :D

JOEDI. I'M GONNA GET A CAMERA. IF I CAN. rawr.

Damn, my mom suggested smth awesome today. She told me to go get my
hair cut here, and tell them to cut it any way they want, as long as
it's like the other ppl here, so... God knows how I'm gonna look like
after the trip.. Lmao

The sunrise and sunset's effed up. 6smth black sky liao.

Ahhhhhhh, skiing!!!!!

It'll be like 10 times more awesome if I could go with some 202-er or
smth lah..

Haiz. So tired. Well... Cya..?

P.S. BBQ seems to be common here.

P.P.S. Sarang hae!

Day 3

Usually I'll write my thoughts here at like, night. But I've got a
boring bus ride ahead of me to somewhere, with a lunch break soon, so
I thought.. Might as well loh.

It's awesome here. I think it's one of my most enjoyed days so far of
probably my favourite holiday.

Hot coffee/choccolate (moccha), cold air, like, 2 layers of clothes so
it's cool and.. Awesome, little piles of snow around here, for you to
kick. What's more, I just came back from some swimming pool place, and
hot spring. Like literally. Swimming pools at one place, hotsprings,
coldsprings (LOL, yeah.), sauna-s, at one place, indoor and outdoor
pools elsewhere.

What more could you ask for?

Ah yes, we're at the resteraunt. :D

Awesome.

Ciao, I'll get back to typing after eating.

Mmm, kimchi-seaweed-seafood-and-beef soup.

Full now. Haha..

The swimming was the best part of today, I coulda spent the whole day
there..

Like, go out swim, Wade in the water, etc. Super cold but awesome.
Imagine ice in your hair, while your body's warm (well, it was a
little cold.) Best experience ever.

Then, if you stand up, it becomes super cold, then you can get up and
hop into another heated pool. Ahhhhhhhh.

And after all that, my fingers and feet and basically all my skin felt
dam smooth. Like.. The only time it felt like that was when I dripped
some of the guitar polish on my hands.

Woah, I just went into an awesome toilet. The urinals were stupid
beyond words. There was a centipede in one, spiders in the other, and
I didn't dare see the last one. Live ones, mind. Crawling for cover as
you pee on them.

Okay that was weird.

Long road trip ahead. Gonna recount in detail the swimming trip. :D

Mmm, these choccies are awesome. Better save some to bring back.

Sis sitting beside me, I told her to buzz off cos I was writing my
diary.

The scenery's beautiful, I'm on a mountian now..

It's like, single-digit temperature now. Positive. If it were negative
single degrees I'll be wearing my gloves in the bus..

Seems like snowboarding's more common here then skiing..

So anyway, the swimming.

Awesome.

Went there, had to leave my shoes in a locker.

Then, I had to change into my swimming pants. Note to self: gotta get
new ones soon, heh.. >.<

So we showered, and chionged out. Fr-ee-zing. Brrr.

Chionged into the first pool. Cold.
Next pool. Cold.

Next pool. Warm. Soaked there for a while, then decided to go out.
There was a sort of... doorway out. That pool was heated, though.
Outside was pretty nice. Cool face, warm body. Stand up and then duck
back down, and it's so warm..

.. Before I continue, I gotta say: my dad, my sone incredible
coincidence knows 3 of the famlies here. Cool, neh?

The only secondary-schoolers here, I think, are me, my bro, and my
dad's fren's daughter.

I'm in the coach now, she's sitting I think like 5-6 rows in front of
me.

Aaand she kinda blew my mind a while ago.

Never ever ever ever go to a pool with a dam chio girl wearing a
swimsuit. Outdoors. In a winter country where there's "smoke"
everywhere. That, or my hormones are extremely messed up now. Ughhh.

She climbed out of the water then, trying to compete with her brothers
who could stay out of the water in the cold air the longest.

My mind was like "boomz" for a moment. Stood there (hopefully not
gaping like a drunken fish >.<) for a moment, before I could think
properly.

Bumped into her (not literally. Thank god.) several times after, but
still never talked.

After that, I tried to explore, then I found another pool. I think it
was barely heated, if it was.

And there was a way out. COLD SIA. BUT AWESOME. I think my hair
could've frozen over if I stayed outside for longer. Then while my
feet and body in general were cool-warm-ish, I wipe my hair and it's
so dam cool, like it's frozen. Epic.

Best memory.

Then, I swam back in, then jumped into the heated pool. Ahh.

After a while, I got bored of using the water jets, and left to
explore. Wah. There were even hotter pools.

Jumped in, then saw the water was coloured. Cool.

Then went out, like, outside. To the cold pool, the colder air, then
jumped back in. Ahhh...

Then, after a few MORE times, I saw the hottest pool yet. 38.9.
Awesome. So I went out, stayed there, then chionged back in and jumped
in..

AHHHHH...
or was it more like
YEOWWOOHAHHHHHHHHhhhhh... Ahhhh....

Then, went back to the hotsprings. Wasn't allowed to wear anything
in.. -.-

Yep. Nothing. No towel to cover -AHEM- or your face.

Pretty cool, though. Literally. There was a pool, heated to 41.4, if I
remember correctly. That's enough to make you feel your heart beating
heavily and make you feel needles of pain everywhere, but you get used
to it, and then you just lax there.

Another pool, 20.8.

That's cold enough to numb pain.

Like, iced water. Almost.

I take cold showers but this.. This is COLD. I couldn't even go any
deeper than my belly-button.
What more do I have to say?

So I jumped from one to the other. Not immediately, but still fantastic.

Haha, I'll miss that place. Coulda spent the whole damn day there.

So after that, got out, scrubbed/showered once more, then left. Nabbed
a moccha before I left.

Never felt so pampered before.

Awesome how life without wifi can be so.. Awesome?

Haha.. The last time I'd enjoyed myself this much was in japan. But
here's also dam nice. It just could use more skiing/snowboarding.

Well long road trip ahead, I'm getting slightly carsick, so I guess
that's it for now.

-Arnold swachnegger accent- I'll be bach.

as I usually say it.

I'M BAAAACKKKKK YOOOOO.

okay.

Anyway, we went to some mountian.
Awesome scenery. No railings at one part near the peak.

Haha, I nearly got to climb up all the way.

But quite cold

Then you climb, and start sweating. Lol..

I had to rush down cos.. Well let's just say my mom had... Women
problems...

There also was sone statue the Skorean govmt made, it's a buddah.

And it was made for ppl to pray for the reunition of Nkorea and
Skorea. So weird.

Bored. Tmrw need to wake at 6, wth..

Ah well cya.

P.S. Another theme park tmrw

P.P.S. My ears are popping, I'm going down the mountian in the coach..

P.P.P.S. It's so high up I was above a cloud juz now. Cool. Above a
cloud, man. Above a cloud. That's high.

P.P.P.P.S. There's some really weird way they let you spread the jam
from those disposeable packs. You fold it in half, breaking smth, then
you squeeze and it comes out. Like icing sugar. Cool. I grabbed a
pack, but I doubt it'll last till I get back. Probably it'll just
dirty my jacket sometime. (EDIT.) yep, 2 days and it went boomz.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I think I should stop. And I'll try to.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Oops. Anyway I forgot to mention I gotta wake up at 6
tmrw, so... SUNRISE PICS!! :D

Since I lost count of the number of p's,

I'm at the next hotel now. Quite nice. I was standing on the balcony
juz now. Super cold, haha. Only wearing 1 thin layer.

Before I came up, I heard canon rock playing from this room marked
"grand ballroom". Cool. Some couple's wedding, I hope. Some awesome
couple.

I'm absolutely positive it was canon rock. No mistake.

Cup noodles, ba kwa, and Korean strawberries await me. Muhahahaha.
Cya :D

Day 4

Just went to some island. Incredibly cute loh..

Like people come, ppl go, they do random acts of randomosity and
kindness and love and the next lot of people can see it

Like there's these stacks of rocks, I saw someone adding a rock, so
after he left I put another rock on. XD

Then the floor, the leaves are arranged into hearts at some places..

So cute lah!

Then there were these logs, with funny faces carved into them. There
was a stuffed bunny tied to another, lol...

It's like there's so much love in the air..

It also seems like the only food here in resteraunts ALWAYS seems to
be like this:

Hotplate/something similar, like a wok over a fire (ALWAYS.)
Kimchi (ALWAYS.)
Rice (rarely, noodles.)
(sometimes only) seaweed

That's it. But it's really nice, I bet I come home heavier than I
left. Like much heavier..

2hr trip ahead, to some place, which if I remember the guide, we can
learn how they make kimchi.

And my shoes are stuuuuupidly cold.

Ahhhhhhhh. There was some heater which I stood in front of. Plus some
weird coffee, tasted like they stirred caramel into it. Pretty nice.

Imaginary friends for the epic win.

Anyway, after all that coffee, I can conclude:
There are 3 stages to drinking coffee:

1. Sniff it
2. Attempt to drink it and scald your tounge. (note: scalding your
tounge is important. If you don't, keep trying till you do.)
3. When it's cooled till it won't scald your tounge, take larger gulps
with it until you run out. Then wonder why didn't you sip it.

Optional step 4.
Gargle your mouth with it. :D

I like step 4. (:

And DAMN, do I want a zippo. Those things are cool. XD

Well time to sleep. One of my main activities during long road trips.

Oh, and I think I saw a snsd poster just now. Haha.

And sunrise looked like sh!t, so no pics.

Just reached Seoul, found a wifi spot. Gna send this to my blog now (:

So this part never gets to see my blog muhahahaha. Jking. I'll load it
in s'pore.

Went shopping, got a gift. And 2 hoodies for myself :D

Sis spent like, 20 mins chosing her nail polish. LOL.

Haha I shoulda got a few more of those hoodies.. 19 bucks, one of
them. And looks pretty nice.

Ah well, gna make kimchi now. :D

Cya.

Kimchi making thing was fun. Spreading some sort of paste of mushed up
veg onto seasoned cabbage.

Oh, and Koreans have a entire separate fridge for kimchi specially.

Aaand like a family can finish 50Kg of that stuff in like half a year.

Then went to see some dance thing. Awesome. Too bad didn't get to
video it..

One guy fron our tour group got called up to help in the spinning
plates thing, then he had to throw it to some guy behind him. He threw
it waaaay too short, and then the guy catching it had to lunge foward.
XD

Onto the next hotel now, some guy's reciting Korean phrases. XP I only
know like.. 3? I'm supposed to learn 5. Haha..

I need toilet...

Yay I just heard tmrw wake up at 8. Time to get some sleep. I wonder
if I can get hyeong keong's hp no..

But then again my hp went ka-poot.

Back again, this time in my hotel room.

The toilet's cool. XD
Showered for super long. Ahhhhhh...
The cold water's freezing, though. -shivers-

So lazy now...

If you're wondering, I mention Jean so often in here cos she's the one
who helps me enjoy this holiday so much. It's like, I know she'll
enjoy it a shitlot more than me, so I try me best to enjoy, so that
it's not a waste.. Oh nevermind.

Day 5

The sunrise here's really awesome. The whole horizon becomes reddish
then it gets orangey then it meets the blue sky.

From where I am it looks kinda slum-ish.
Like you see everything surrounded by mountians, then from above you
look down, you see all those small houses..

Not slum.. Like District 9. Or Banliue 13...

Day 5 of 7-day holidays always seems the same to me. Like, you
suddenly realize it's like, boomz, and 3/4s of the holiday's over
already..

Well it's a 8-day one, but heck.

So little time left here..
Sad.

Gng some ginseng thing now, just finished eating breakfast.

Idiot sister doesn't understand "DONT READ MY DIARY."

It's not my diary, but whatever.

(note to self: get music before I leave.)

Ginseng's borrringgg. And I chipped my nail. Awww.

But I got choccolate rocks yay!

My sister has no shame. She filled a cupful of the samples for the
choccolate rocks and she's munching on 'em now. -.-

-hours later-

Gawd. How do you girls shop?
Just went fron ginseng to amethyst to skin stuff to shopping mall.

Lol..

So bored now..

I asked my mom for eyeliner to see her reaction.
She was like,"You want eyeliner?"

O.o

Like she's willing to get it lmao..

Sian. I bet Koreans spend like a quater of their salary on skin stuff.
Another quater on makeup.

Sooo boring. Going to some theme park soon. Haiz.

But on another note, I bought... I think.. 4 hoodies.. This trip...
LMAO.

I bet the theme park's gonna be boring.

And my lip gloss's sweet. Eew.

Haiz.. Tnrw's my last full day in Korea. The day after I'm going home
in the afternoon.

Sunset and sunrise watching? (:

I also bet my hair's too short for the hairdresser to do much to. Ah
well. Whatever.

If I end up looking like Chuck Bass, I am going to scream.

That's it for now.

Well, well the theme park was boring.

Bought another gift, and msned after finding a wifi spot.

Honestly, I think if anyone reads my notes on my iPod, they're gonna
kill be for one reason or the other.

If not, laugh their asses off.

So, let's revise!
A nyung ha sae yo!
Means
How are you!

I think.

Then..

Ee hae ga an dae yo
Means
I don't know what you're saying

A ga si
Means guy. Or was it girl?
Idk, but the other one was a jeo si.

Sa gua
Means
Apple!

And of course, everyone's favourte,
SARANG HAE YO!

Say that to ji-hyun (the 204 one) if you're a guy, or hyeong kyeong if
you're a girl. :D

"SA-rANG-hAY-oh"
I think. Ugh. Gotta ask them. Lol.

Tour ended. Free and easy.
That also means my haircut. Bye bye, slightly-longer-than-most-sec-2-
boy's-hair!

And it also means shopping. XD

Well I'm sleepy..

Guess that's it..

Day 6
Okay, a nyung ha say oh?
(or was it a nyung ha sae yo..? Damn.)
Lol. Bored. Taxi ride to a shopping mall, to.. Well, shop.

I only know 2 phrases of Korean, lol.

The other's..

Ee hae ga an dae yo

I think..

-scrolls up-

Yay.

Oh wait I know 3. Haha.
Shopping's boring, when you're the one who gets called for the highly
honored role of the one who answers the all-importiant question
of:"does this look nice?"

Oh well.

Bought sorry sorry. Well, it sounded pretty fine on the plane..

Last day here... And I've got less then 24 hours to enjoy Korea. Sadd.

Can you believe my.. I think 10 year old ex-neighbour (she's Korean.
And my family's visiting her family now.) likes black eyes peas? And
MJ? Cool.

The nightlights here are nice. Lol.

Last hours

Sian. So bored. I got the haircut, but so little differnece. Sadly.

Haha. Watching tv now.

Sian.

That's the diary I kept in Korea. Now. I'm killing this blog.

2009-12-29T13:57:00.001+08:00

OH my GOD what IS WRONG with my DREAMS?!

2009-12-25T15:59:00.001+08:00

1.i hate writing endings.
2.being insane would be a relief from that i'm thinking now.
3.she's like drugs to me.

2009-12-17T23:56:00.002+08:00

on the fourth day of christams.. i had a shitty time. four friends going out, three injuries, two messed up friends, and one epic fail class.

goodbye blog. for quite a while, i might add.

Korea

2009-12-13T14:10:00.001+08:00

Day 1

Frankly, I think my butt's gonna be the most sore at the end of the
trip.

Today was pretty awesome for a first day. The moment I got off the
plane there was stuff to do.

Okay, let's slow down.

Haha.. The theme park was interesting, it was joined with a safari so
there was a bus which drove along and we saw all the animals. Awesome.
Took vids.

I really think I'm getting more into kpop, haha.. Blame it on the lack
of chanels here, so just have to listen to KMTV or whatever that
channel was.

Well blame Jean as well...

So that's it for day 1. Stupid wakeup call tmrw..

Bye.

P.S. (if I see any DBSK, SuJu, or Cherry Filter CD's, I am sooo buying
them. :D)

P.P.S. SS501 isn't that bad. If that's their name, I can't remember.

P.P.P.P.S. Tmrw there's skiing. Yay.

Day 2

Woke up at 7. Freeeak. Sleepy.

Today was skiing. I asked if I could try snowboard and sadly not...
Haiz. Next trip, my dad promised.

I did-so-want to try. :(

Basically skiied the whole day. My feet and arms and other muscles are
hurting like freeeakkkkk. Naa warm up. Lol

Anyway, i found a wifi spot, then msned for a while. I miss you guys.

Tmrw we're going to a hotspring. Awesome. :D apparently we're going to
see other stuff too, and move to the next hotel. In the mountians.
Sweet, photo time :D

JOEDI. I'M GONNA GET A CAMERA. IF I CAN. rawr.

The sunrise and sunset's effed up. 6smth black sky liao.

Ahhhhhhh, skiing!!!!!

It'll be like 10 times more awesome if I could go with some 202-er or
smth lah..

Haiz. So tired. Well... Cya..?

P.S. BBQ seems to be common here.

P.P.S. Sarang hae!

Day 3

Usually I'll write my thoughts here at like, night. But I've got a
boring bus ride ahead of me to somewhere, with a lunch break soon, so
I thought.. Might as well loh.

It's awesome here. I think it's one of my most enjoyed days so far of
probably my favourite holiday.

What more could you ask for?

Ah yes, we're at the resteraunt. :D

Awesome.

Ciao, I'll get back to typing after eating.

Mmm, kimchi-seaweed-seafood-and-beef soup.

Full now. Haha..

The swimming was the best part of today, I coulda spent the whole day
there..

Like, go out swim, Wade in the water, etc. Super cold but awesome.
Imagine ice in your hair, while your body's warm (well, it was a
little cold.) Best experience ever.

Then, if you stand up, it becomes super cold, then you can get up and
hop into another heated pool. Ahhhhhhhh.

And after all that, my fingers and feet and basically all my skin felt
dam smooth. Like.. The only time it felt like that was when I dripped
some of the guitar polish on my hands.

Okay that was weird.

Long road trip ahead. Gonna recount in detail the swimming trip. :D

Mmm, these choccies are awesome. Better save some to bring back.

Sis sitting beside me, I told her to buzz off cos I was writing my
diary.

The scenery's beautiful, I'm on a mountian now..

It's like, single-digit temperature now. Positive. If it were negative
single degrees I'll be wearing my gloves in the bus..

Seems like snowboarding's more common here then skiing..

So anyway, the swimming.

Awesome.

Went there, had to leave my shoes in a locker.

Then, I had to change into my swimming pants. Note to self: gotta get
new ones soon, heh.. >.<

So we showered, and chionged out. Fr-ee-zing. Brrr.

Chionged into the first pool. Cold.
Next pool. Cold.

.. Before I continue, I gotta say: my dad, my sone incredible
coincidence knows 3 of the famlies here. Cool, neh?

The only secondary-schoolers here, I think, are me, my bro, and my
dad's fren's daughter.

I'm in the coach now, she's sitting I think like 5-6 rows in front of
me.

Aaand she kinda blew my mind a while ago.

Never ever ever ever go to a pool with a dam chio girl wearing a
swimsuit. Outdoors. In a winter country where there's "smoke"
everywhere. That, or my hormones are extremely messed up now. Ughhh.

She climbed out of the water then, trying to compete with her brothers
who could stay out of the water in the cold air the longest.

My mind was like "boomz" for a moment. Stood there (hopefully not
gaping like a drunken fish >.<) for a moment, before I could think
properly.

Bumped into her (not literally. Thank god.) several times after, but
still never talked.

After that, I tried to explore, then I found another pool. I think it
was barely heated, if it was.

Best memory.

Then, I swam back in, then jumped into the heated pool. Ahh.

After a while, I got bored of using the water jets, and left to
explore. Wah. There were even hotter pools.

Jumped in, then saw the water was coloured. Cool.

Then went out, like, outside. To the cold pool, the colder air, then
jumped back in. Ahhh...

Then, after a few MORE times, I saw the hottest pool yet. 38.9.
Awesome. So I went out, stayed there, then chionged back in and jumped
in..

AHHHHH...
or was it more like
YEOWWOOHAHHHHHHHHhhhhh... Ahhhh....

Then, went back to the hotsprings. Wasn't allowed to wear anything
in.. -.-

Yep. Nothing. No towel to cover -AHEM- or your face.

Another pool, 20.8.

That's cold enough to numb pain.

Like, iced water. Almost.

I take cold showers but this.. This is COLD. I couldn't even go any
deeper than my belly-button.
What more do I have to say?

So I jumped from one to the other. Not immediately, but still fantastic.

Haha, I'll miss that place. Coulda spent the whole damn day there.

So after that, got out, scrubbed/showered once more, then left. Nabbed
a moccha before I left.

Never felt so pampered before.

Awesome how life without wifi can be so.. Awesome?

Haha.. The last time I'd enjoyed myself this much was in japan. But
here's also dam nice. It just could use more skiing/snowboarding.

Well long road trip ahead, I'm getting slightly carsick, so I guess
that's it for now.

-Arnold swachnegger accent- I'll be bach.

as I usually say it.

I'M BAAAACKKKKK YOOOOO.

okay.

Anyway, we went to some mountian.
Awesome scenery. No railings at one part near the peak.

Haha, I nearly got to climb up all the way.

But quite cold

Then you climb, and start sweating. Lol..

I had to rush down cos.. Well let's just say my mom had... Women
problems...

There also was sone statue the Skorean govmt made, it's a buddah.

And it was made for ppl to pray for the reunition of Nkorea and
Skorea. So weird.

Bored. Tmrw need to wake at 6, wth..

Ah well cya.

P.S. Another theme park tmrw

P.P.S. My ears are popping, I'm going down the mountian in the coach..

P.P.P.S. It's so high up I was above a cloud juz now. Cool. Above a
cloud, man. Above a cloud. That's high.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I think I should stop. And I'll try to.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Oops. Anyway I forgot to mention I gotta wake up at 6
tmrw, so... SUNRISE PICS!! :D

Since I lost count of the number of p's,

I'm at the next hotel now. Quite nice. I was standing on the balcony
juz now. Super cold, haha. Only wearing 1 thin layer.

Before I came up, I heard canon rock playing from this room marked
"grand ballroom". Cool. Some couple's wedding, I hope. Some awesome
couple.

I'm absolutely positive it was canon rock. No mistake.

Cup noodles, ba kwa, and Korean strawberries await me. Muhahahaha.
Cya :D

Day 4

Just went to some island. Incredibly cute loh..

Like people come, ppl go, they do random acts of randomosity and
kindness and love and the next lot of people can see it

Like there's these stacks of rocks, I saw someone adding a rock, so
after he left I put another rock on. XD

Then the floor, the leaves are arranged into hearts at some places..

So cute lah!

Then there were these logs, with funny faces carved into them. There
was a stuffed bunny tied to another, lol...

It's like there's so much love in the air..

It also seems like the only food here in resteraunts ALWAYS seems to
be like this:

Hotplate/something similar, like a wok over a fire (ALWAYS.)
Kimchi (ALWAYS.)
Rice (rarely, noodles.)
(sometimes only) seaweed

That's it. But it's really nice, I bet I come home heavier than I
left. Like much heavier..

2hr trip ahead, to some place, which if I remember the guide, we can
learn how they make kimchi.

And my shoes are stuuuuupidly cold.

Ahhhhhhhh. There was some heater which I stood in front of. Plus some
weird coffee, tasted like they stirred caramel into it. Pretty nice.

Imaginary friends for the epic win.

Anyway, after all that coffee, I can conclude:
There are 3 stages to drinking coffee:

Optional step 4.
Gargle your mouth with it. :D

I like step 4. (:

And DAMN, do I want a zippo. Those things are cool. XD

Well time to sleep. One of my main activities during long road trips.

Oh, and I think I saw a snsd poster just now. Haha.

And sunrise looked like sh!t, so no pics.

Just reached Seoul, found a wifi spot. Gna send this to my blog now (:

=D

2009-12-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

ciao.

2009-12-08T22:40:00.002+08:00

so i've ditched this blog for 4 days. and it feels like eternity.

ah well, it'll be dead anyway. cuz, well, i'm going korea.

no jean, for the millionth time, i'm not gonna torch the SME building for you. unfortunately, i'm not gaga over any korean rockstars.

9th till 16th. don't sms me, or call me, cuz, well, it's a waste of cash.

and GG's awesome!!!!

AND THANKYOUCARMEN =D

okay, done.

youtube doesn't seem to agree with resteraunt city.

2009-12-04T13:22:00.002+08:00

JEEEEAN. GACKT IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN UVERWORLD.

that aside, my musical tastes have gone from acoustic back to rock, thanks to you-know-who.

RLOD: Ris Low Obsession Disorder

join the FB group now!

i'm gna go bowling soon. lol.

Jrock blasting in one ear, talking on the phone with the other. xP

And typing out pages of hamlet isn't fun.

3 hrs of my life for 10 bucks, totally not worth it.

long story.

ah well batter go eat now, ciao.

gotanyGRAPES?

2009-12-02T23:05:00.002+08:00

Quoting my msn pm.
Guys talking to guys about shampoo and hair. What's this world coming to?

:D

If i had a split personality, the other me would probably be bi.
now why did i just say that?

Never ever ever ever ever ever (about 5 million more evers here) put carrots into cream pasta.

2009-12-02T17:12:00.002+08:00

as the title says.

cooked my own pasta. pretty weird, cuz didnt have all the proper ingredients, so...

but pretty awesome for a 1st try.

facebook's getting addictive, and so is tv.

haiz. holidays...

One nation controled by the media~

2009-11-27T22:09:00.001+08:00

Just watched yet another movie. That makes... 5? I think.

Lols

I seriously don't think kimchi, tom yam, coke, and ice cream go well together, on a side note.

Haha. Kimchi.

I think I'm gonna enjoy Korea lol

But then again I'm not obssesed over some star, so I possibly could be a lot more excited about going to Korea....

Ah well..

I think I shld ask my mom to try make fried mars bars lolol.

I also got like 3 books I wanted today. So happy..

Crocodile tears, THE LOST SYMBOL, and pride and prejudice AND ZMOBIES (which my mother didn't really want me to read cuz it's an insult to the classic, apparently, lol.)

Well... That's it for today. Cya.

2009-11-26T21:23:00.002+08:00

first of all, i'm typing this with 1 hand, my other hand's holding a guava.

secondly, I HEART COOKIES.

thirdly, i'm going to wash my hands cuz i finished the guava.

Next, (ha, i bet you were thinking fourthly) Farenheit 451 is a pretty good book.

Then, i'm getting kinda tired of that virus that takes over your account.

After that point, i have to say: "MY FEET ARE BLOODY KILLING ME DUE TO ICE SKATING FOR 2 HRS."

Another thing i have to ask, should i try start a audioblog? (i think it's gonna fail epic-ly)

Penultimate-ly, bowling's fun.

Finally, BOOMZ.

okay that's all the conjunctions i can think of besides stuff like however, despite, and other crap i didnt bother to fit in.

so.

boomz~

2009-11-25T21:54:00.001+08:00

You know someone really influences your decisions when you consider watching gossip girl. (yes, YOU.)

so bored. dont feel too good lols. i shld resttttt.

(chenyue, may you die in childbirth before you're in my lit class. yes, you know what that means.)

green-eyes monstahh

2009-11-23T17:42:00.001+08:00

DANGNIT.

YOUTUBEEEEE. JEALOUS MUCH.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhNdVzbJQ44&feature=channel

AHHHHHHHHHH.

I'M ENVIOUS.

OF HER SINGNG.

OF HER COMPOSING.

OF HER GUITAR SKILLZ

ACKKKKK

-JEALOUS-

Cookeh.

2009-11-22T22:49:00.001+08:00

Man, am I HUNGRY.
It's like, 11, and I'm craving clam chowder. LOL.

I should rly learn how to cook stuff soon.

Right now my braces are killing me, I can't have cookies or the like.

D; no cookies!!!

And, my sense of taste has half died. Perhaps it's due to the bland porridge I keep eating.

Or the fact that I eat it while it's scaldingly hot and it scalds my tounge and throat on the way down.

Who knows?
-shrugs-

Boomz

2009-11-21T01:43:00.001+08:00

Today was pretty busy. Fun though.

Went to school, then got my nobel exco tee. OMG IT IS AWESOME OKAYYYY.
I only wish my name wasn't drawn and rather, printed on, but heck.

Then got my results. Improved yay.

Bballed for ages. I really suck, man.
Went to watch Christmas carol. Not bad.

Saw the Bruneian scholars off, and discovered I can shove 4 jackets into my cargo pant's pockets and still have room for more. Cool.

Watched 2012. YESSS, LOL. 2 MOVIES IN A DAY HAHA

So that sums it up. Yay.

2009-11-17T21:03:00.001+08:00

Ouch. Hurt my knee. Ah well.

Funny Indian cultre thing today was boring, 'cept the thing which sounded like a guitar. That was cool.

Played pingpong, lol. I suck.

Came home and slacked.

GHOSTTTTTT!!!!!

COSY Hostel!

2009-11-16T14:55:00.002+08:00

Whee. I kept a recount of the last few days.

Here goes...

My third trip to COSI. A 1-day long one.

So I've found out my "brother"'s in secondary school. Gosh. That was fast. He's also a comp pro.

Let's start at the start.

Woke up at four freaking AM, changed, grabbed jam sandwhitch, left.

Airport was boring. Except when I saw someone from the last time I went to COSI. Like "hey, is that Rachel?"
"cannot be lei.."
-she turns around and sees me-
Haha.. Turns out she was sending her parents off to Bangkok.

So flight sucked, shoulda taken that coffee I coulda got before the dang flight. Hungry, thirsty, and sleepy for an hour and a half.

Landed, followed another group straight to COSI. HAHA. I decided they were inexperienced, cuz no one experienced goes there straightaway. We always remember to overstock on snacks, and I mean overstock.

Like, in my last trip 2 ppl said they could finish a tin of Milo in a week.
A WHOLE TIN, LOL.

And even then, we still never finish eating. Always like half the food we give to the kids.

So went straight to COSI.

Went to rooms, slacked for a bit, and adventures arnd. BIG MISTAKE. Swelteringly hot.

Some of the kids came home from school, met the two ppl I know who still are in COSI (the rest went to some boarding school to take their version of O' levels. Oh, by some awesome coincidence, one's called Jack. AHHAHAHAHahahahahaha

Had a tour arnd the place, and a few other things. Sadly they didn't harvest the rice I planted in June... XD

Hmm, time was pretty much a blur for me today manzxzxxx, I can't believe yesterday I was at school.

OH, as usual, watched sunset. This one was pretty awesome. I hope my dad uploads the pics ^^

Tmrw, gna watch sunrise, snap more pics, haha..

I'm s sucker for lights when everything's dark, like... City lights?

But not those fake ones at marina bay or ochard, those suck, to me.

ANYWAY, so tmrw gna stay in phnom penh. Oh well, at least I can go buy little souveniors I can give as b'day prezzies! ^^

Gotta shower soon, haha. Sweaty and sticky all over. Whee cold showers ftw!

So that pretty much summarized day 1.

DAY 2
Woah, that was one cold night. Blame aircon.

Woke up to my toes freezing.

Oh well, can't complain, at least I get a matress.

Woke up, went to pee. There was a lizard in thr toilet bowl. Nearly LMAO'ed there, but in the end I just flushed it down.

Singapore's an hour behind Cambodia. Which means it's six now. Wow, talk 'bout bright. OH DANG I MISSED THE SUNRISEEEE!!!

Meh. Oh well.

Breakfast is at seven, and I don't think I can wait. :D
But then again, I love the food here, lol.

Okay that's it I'll write again at the end of today.

P.S. I'm pretty sure half the girls I know would absolutely DIE here. HAHA.

I know it's not the end, but heckkkk.

Another hectic day.

Ate breakfast. Mmm. Awesome. Noodles which tasted kinda like magee mee. Threw chilli all over it, and had 2 cups of milk tea. Or tea milk. Whatever. Spammed milk.

So after that, I took my dad's camera. Ran all about snapping pics. (damnit, couldn't get that silouhetteed pic of mehself.)

Later, I went to the paddy fields. Harvesting the rice I planted in June, LOL.

So interesting. But DAMN TIRING. I wear dryfit also no difference. Shirt wet, pants wet. If I were wearing some normal teeshirt I bet it could've asorbed all my sweat and I'll still have enough to fill a cup after that.

Later, helped tie a bundle of rice, and finally left. So damn tired. Drank a whole bottle of water, and still felt kinda thirsty. Then, we went to meet my other friends. Apparently they're taking their equivilant of A levels, not O. Anyway, someone rented for them 2 houses, one for the boys, another for the girls.
Said hi to everyone I remember (Chantha! Dianne! Ratana!), then left. ):
Their story goes kinda like this..,
I don't know how they got into COSI, so I'll leave that. But why they weren't in cosi is the interesting part.

The school near COSI only teaches till their version of sec 3. The nearest school which teaches a complete education is FREAKING FAR.
like leave at 5.30am, come back at 8pm.
So they, along with one adult set up a mini hostel near the school. The oldest kids go there, and they live together till gradguation.
Kinda like our hostel, 'cept that our hostel is heaven compared to them. Wake up at 4.30 make breakfast, do laundry yourself, among other things.

But after all that I see them, and they're happy. Happy with such simple lives..

Got an asthma attck halfway through. No inhaler. Stupid dust.

Haiz. Anyway, ate beef stew after tht. AWESOME LAH THAT STEWWWW
Sweet-salty-bitter awesomeness.
Then coconut ice-cream, with other stuff in it like rasins. Mmmm.
(mix coke and coconut juice. Result, if in the right proportion is really... Awesome. I think that's getting repetitive.)

So, I'm lying in the bed of some inn, gna go shopping soon. Lol, must remember to get gifts for frens!

Haha. Coke...

-9.30pm-
Hello once again lols.
Man, I slept. SLEPT. ahhhhhhh. Peace.

Anyway, i'm really full. Had an awesome lunch, and I wanted to try some of the local stuff but I couldn't, cuz apparently it's really bad. Haha, sad.

So we also went shopping.. XP
Got two bags. I think I have some weird want for ONLY sling bags. Although I DID see one DAM CUTE BAG omigawsh it was so awesome I have the pic in my hp now ahahaha

So: things to try next time I come:
Ferterlized egg, fermented fish paste.

Things to do in s'pore: (incomplete list, lols)
Coconut juice + flat coke
Stop wasting rice. (you plant it, harvest it, thresh it, and cook it yourself. Then you'll see what I freaking mean.)

Upload this to blog!
Steal photos and upload to fb!

SLEEPPPP

use my new pencilcase!

Manzxzxxx, I'm so darn tired.
Cya.

(I think school is going to be somewhat tiring for the next week. Caffine spamming it shall be.)

There we go. Sleeptime?

2009-11-14T05:04:00.001+08:00

Oh, and by the time you read this I'll be there. Don't SMS me, I won't reply. Aaand, my pants can fit my jacket. Cargo pants ftw!

5am

2009-11-14T05:02:00.001+08:00

So... I'm leaving s'pore.

Cambodia. So sad my camera's gone funky.

Ohwell. Gna try get souveniors. XD

Cya'll tuesday

2009-11-13T20:26:00.000+08:00

i'm not in s'pore. dont bother sms'ing unless you're rich.

tuesday i'll be bach

2009-11-13T15:02:00.003+08:00

like i say on my msn PM.

sometimes the simplest things are the best.

and sometimes they're the worst, but that's rare.

spent like, an hour playing ToD.

don't bother asking me for anything, my lips are sealed.

suffice to say our class is just weird. haha.

(me included.)

okay, big news coming up.

HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE IN NUSH YEAR 2 WHO PLAYS BASS AND WANTS TO JAM?

oh and are there any freerunners in singapore who are willing to teach?

there we go. told you it was big.

what, not big enough?

Russian roulette

2009-11-12T19:48:00.001+08:00

Boredremmmmmm
Isssss
Killingggg
Meeee

In other random news, imma ask my mom to let me learn capoeira.

And the chalet is epic failing.

All I want to do now is FR, jam, and sleep.

Not suprising.

all the right moves, in all the wrong places

2009-11-11T11:20:00.002+08:00

So this morning, i taste somtehing salty on my lips. lick lick. what's that? i ask myself.

then i wipe my mouth with my hand and.....

Yep, i was freaking suprised, too.

in other random news.

YAWEN, YOU PEIRCED YOUR EAR CARTILIDGE?!
COOL!

okay i'm off to get cyrus and co.

just one spark starts a fire

2009-11-06T22:18:00.004+08:00

whee.
came back from seoul gardens.

haha, thanks william =]

tempted to rip the group photo off jean's FB and smack it here.

whee.

although it was weird, going out with half the ppl there i don't know and they were going on and on about "OMIGOSH SO-N-SO'S SO CUTE/PWETTY etcetc"

haha, but fun.

exams over, time to butter.
i meant jam.

and i don't think i can look at this the same

2009-11-01T21:04:00.002+08:00

so... its a sunday.

exams are coming back to haunt us.

good news is every one passed is another one we don't have to worry about.

bad news it we can't cram much into our heads anymore.

good news is that we can still cram some into our heads by last minute revision in the library.

bad news is not much.

good news is after exams we can slack (movies! class outings! JAMMING!)

bad news is not yet.

...

nope, i cant think of any more

okay, so...

my revised post exams to do list:

sleep
pk
learn piano!
guitar grade 1 exam, here i come!
learn capoeira!
jamming!
go out with friends!
jamming!
jamming!
jamming!
jamming!
sleep.

to infinity and beyond.

man. so much is happening now, and i cant really be bothered to blog but i'll try.

so... some #$%^tard scratched my dad's car. -.-

3 doors down, here without you!

awesome.

guitar, ILY! <3

2009-10-30T22:15:00.002+08:00

yay i got my magma base!

and now i'm suddenly determined to do so many things. hopefulli i'll accomplish at least some of them...

-sighs-

physics, physics. stress.

guitar tomorow, hurrah!

carbonara and chilli sauce tastes nice. like ketchup type chilli.

cant keep on one topic.

and to william, even though i keep dropping something, i always go back to it.

whee.

hm. revision with hostel-ites sucks.

rather, with lappys

monthy python and other youtube stuff half the time.

my wrist hurts. cut it by accident.
no, im not suicidal.

okay, that's about all that happened in meh boring life since my last post.

(and chinese exams are over!)

2009-10-30T17:31:00.000+08:00

3 exams down!
and the one's i'm the most afraid of lol
oh well mugmugmug now

2009-10-26T20:24:00.003+08:00

i found my new friend. he's made of wood. amd metal.

he's my Fender guitar (the eric johnson signature one for those overly enthu ones. well not overly enthu.)

well i guess i found more meaning to life recently but i wont puke it here for the world to see.

lit was fun. now, to revise.

2009-10-25T21:38:00.002+08:00

i don't really want to post so that explains he mistakes in this post, i cant be bothered to correct 'em.

im still trying to keep my emotions out of it.

skipped church today, don't ask.

i actually did my homework.

english and lit.

FOR THOSE WHO ARE DOING LIT HOW LONG DOES THE DIRECTOR"S PORTFOLIO NEED TO BE?!?!!?

okay thats about it.

goodbye, stupid internet. have a shitty time.

oh man.

2009-10-23T19:36:00.002+08:00

...
....

another friend i kinda lose, i guess.

P, what happened?

Or you leave me waiting to ask Ms Ng, up to you.

man. i've got no mood to post now.

change is constant.

2009-10-22T22:40:00.002+08:00

35 minutes for my post.
more like 25, really.

so i ditched my guitar for now. sorry. its so damn dirty, anyway. gotta clean it soon.

i may need to bring my amp to school soon, though. for lit. hehe looks like a good excuse.

so what's up with my life now?

at home i'm still terribly emo (i initially subconciously typed it as evil, blame my alter ego.) and
im just bearing with everything as i type this.

so anyway, i'm really dam worried and kinda overloaded. "kinda" is the word, its my own fault.

but enough of that, school's fun now.

like english really isnt that bad, i enjoy it ('cept the book reviews)

maths takes a turn for the worse, but then again no one wants to know that.

chemistry isnt that bad, physics, on the other hand...

so lit!
LITLITLIT

lit's fun this sem. but te hwrk isnt, i shoulda taken it last sem -.--.-

i think i'm really changing quite a bit.

that sucks.

JQ showed me a vid on youtube about phobias. hilarious.
go see "phobias" on youtube.

okay, low battery.

ah well.

for those who've been asking;

2009-10-17T17:40:00.003+08:00

-sigh-
i typed out this post once, then posted it and firefox proceeded to turn it into meaningless gibberish.

so here goes once again:

i don't usually post music, and so not two in one post. goes to show.. something.

there we go. lyrics:

Going through this life looking for angels
People passing by looking for angels

Walk this world alone try to stay on my feet
Sometimes crawl, fall, but I stand up cause I'm afraid to sleep
Open my eyes to a new day, with all new problems and all new pain
All the faces are filled with so much anger
Losing our dignity and hope from fear of danger
After all the wars, after settling the scores,
at the break of dawn we will be deaf to the answers

There's so much bigotry, misunderstanding and fear
With eyes squinted and fists clinched we reach out for what is dear
We want it we want
We want a reason to live
We're on a pilgrimage
A crusade for hope
Cause in our hearts and minds and souls we know
We need it we need
We need more than this

Going through this life looking for angels
People passing by looking for angels
Walking down the streets looking for angels
Everyone I meet looking for angels

So many nations with so many hungry people
So many homeless scrounging around for dirty needles
On the rise, teen suicide, when we will realize
We've been desensitized by the lies of the world
We're oppressed and impressed by the greedy
Whose hands squeeze the life out of the needy
When will we learn that wars, threats,
and regrets are the cause and effect of living in fear

Who can help protect the innocence of our children
Stolen on the internet with images they can't forget
We want it we want
We want a reason to live
We represet a generation that wants to turn back a nation
To let love be our light and salvation
We need it we need
We need more than this

Going through this life looking for angels
People passing by looking for angels
Walking down the streets looking for angels
Everyone I meet looking for angels

I became a Savior to some kids I'll never meet
Sent a check in the mail to buy them something to eat
What will you do to make a difference, to make a change?
What will you do to help someone along the way?
Just a touch, a smile as you turn the other cheek
Pray for your enemies; humble yourself, love's staring back at me
In the midst of the most painful faces
Angels show up in the strangest of places
Angels show up in the strangest of places

Going through this life looking for angels
People passing by looking for angels
Walking down the streets looking for angels
Everyone I meet looking for angels (3X)

read it. it seems so true, doesn't it? well if it doesn't it still does to me.

many people i meet, are looking for angels.
which is why i've been telling myself i'll happily suffer if it means others enjoy.

but then again, will anyone notice?
i really doubt so.

life is so competitive, man.

look at this world. everyone needs to be better and better in order to survive.

everyone competes. there isn't any... trust?
there isnt trust because there's greed, and selfishness.

and that's impossible to change.

so many songs i could fit in here. how... apt.

on a lighter note,

2009-10-14T21:46:00.002+08:00

life is meaningless.

competition after competition, then when you think its over, it starts all over again.

"the whole damn world is just as obsessed, with who's the best dressed, and who's the best sex"

this shit never ends.

never fucking ever.

"the beautiful insanity, the apathy surrounding me"

best to be ignorant.

pfft.

2009-10-14T20:53:00.002+08:00

whenever i say hiatus i never seem to mean it.

so andy was absent today. therefore angela gets to be tormented by audrey's non-stop yappering (is there even such a word?)

get well soon!

man. so many tests, exams, everything coming up. so annoying.

i think i'm gonna flunk.

my life is going a bit outta control. just a little wee bit.

lit was... FAIL.

yeah. and i have a 1500 word essay to do in an hour. solution? dont.

oh man.

what the fuck is wrong.

2009-10-13T21:15:00.002+08:00

Maths test: FAILED
physics test: gonna fail
chinese test: you think?
chem test: think i'm okay

ohmaigawsh my life is falling apart.

only a handful of things make sense to me now.

ugh.
no mood, haitus, i supose. bye.

2009-10-10T22:16:00.002+08:00

haha.

i guess i'm changing quite a bit.

meaning, my dad for me a shitass formal blazer and pants for lit, and also for my bro.

and also, i wanna join dance.

HAHA CONTRAST MANNNN.

anyway, i'm meeting someone soon. cya'll sometime.

Beautiful iNSANITY

Art~

What's wrong with me;

Jackfruit chips;

... And FMA ended. -is sad-

I don't know

Blame dA. (I envy *you people* who can just frame their emotions into words so much better than I can...)

Shopping =]

Rainnnnn

An eye for an eye

Go ahead and be "egoistical", because it's not egoistical, it's right.

llama.

B13-U

Oh dear. (It seems Wikipedia is not as hopeless as it seems)

this is hopelessly reminiscent of Fahrenheit 451.

I'm taking the high road~

since everyone leaves this on their blog sooner or later...

-sigh-

Banliue 13.

h, i, J, K, l, m, n, o, p

I'M WRITING A NOVEL IN NOVEMBER

T.T

Dance-obssesed noob over here.

I typed this as we were leaving the airport.

Goodbye.

PARIIII.

If.

God, have I left you?

Ignore the date, this post's on Easter.

At this freakin' rate, we can have an entire conversation through this shitzx.

emo.

Mango spammage

I'm such a hypocrite and I just realized it.

now, what to do with my life

I blame you for making me like vocaloids. :D

A balance of our sanities, threatening to topple any moment

Time for you and time for me, And time yet for a hundred indecisions, And for a hundred visions and revisions,

KILLING THIS BLOG (: DANCE IS FUN (:

Korea

=D

youtube doesn't seem to agree with resteraunt city.

gotanyGRAPES?

Never ever ever ever ever ever (about 5 million more evers here) put carrots into cream pasta.

One nation controled by the media~

green-eyes monstahh

Cookeh.

Boomz

COSY Hostel!

5am

Russian roulette

all the right moves, in all the wrong places

just one spark starts a fire

and i don't think i can look at this the same

oh man.

change is constant.

for those who've been asking;

Blame dA. (I envy you people who can just frame their emotions into words so much better than I can...)